Too Much

That's the thing with me. I'm too much. Everything I do is too much. Everything I am is too much. 

It's either I come out strong too much or I cause trouble too much. I love too much and I hate too much. I commit too much. I work hard so much and I'm lazy too much. I overdo all the time.

I spill whatever is in my grasp cause I thought I could make it better. I always want to do too much. I spoil a situation so good cause I want more. I always want more. I am too direct and real too much. I know I should filter but no.

I over think too much. And create sneciarous in my head too much. I grieve too much. I wallow in self pity too much. I be sad too much. I cry too much. I get bitter too much. I am angry too much. I be anxious too much. I am hard on myself too much.

When something good is about to happen to me, I think about it too much that I jinx it. I criticise myself too much. I at times get confident too much. I believe in myself too much. I go hard too much.

I can be happy too much. I get excited too much. I get bubbly too much. I know I can be annoying too much. I am playful too much. I still can be serious. Too much. I am reserved too much. I love being on my own too much. I isolate myself too much. 

I'm a ride or die too much. I speak positivity too much. I encourage too much. I affirm others too much. I push them too much. I want to be there for them too much. I want to fix it so bad. I am available too much.

I pray too much. I believe too much. I have too much faith. I trust too much. Even when clearly the situation is so grey or impossible, I still want it to work out. I push too much. I strive too much. I want to get there by any means possible.

Yeah, I get it I'm too much. That I know. But you see out of all the too much I am, it leads to not being able to let go. Every time I wish I could just let it go of it all. I can detach but I can't let go. All this too much stays so much on me that it over burdens me. You know? Like putting my energy on too much wasn't enough.

Then I give up. Then hate myself for being too much. Like why do I have to be like that? I start asking myself so many things. Like if I didn't do that or say that the situation would have been better. They would still be here. I would have aced that interview or opportunity. They wouldn't think of me the way they do. I wouldn't be feeling this way.

I can tell you can relate. But that's just you. I'm here to tell you, it doesn't matter if you are doing too much. Just do it. Go all out. Whether you regret or not atleast you went for what your heart was aiming for.

Do too much.