This past week has been kinda strenuous for me. I have been having episodes where most of you would call it anxiety attacks or panic attacks. Reason? Still unknown. I work in a customer related field and I can remember this one time as I was interacting with a customer, I started running out of breath. Bro, I was literally trying to catch my breath like someone who had just ran a flight of stairs, and as the client kept on ranting, I either had to keep it together or just cut him off. Obviously I couldn't keep up and I had to excuse myself to catch some air.
Since Aunty Rona showed up, I feel like my life has been on auto-pilot. The same same routine everyday and I can't even do much to change it. My alarm goes off at 5:20 am, I wake up at 5:30, shower, dress up, and all that. By 6:20, Bruno is already at the gate to take me to work. As usual Bruno is always hyped up. That guy is always in a good mood. Am always just sited there to listen to his stories about his clients and their crazy shenanigans. Sometimes I wonder why someone would name their kid Bruno, as in how? But you would definitely expect that from some parents in Nyanza maybe from some village in Homabay. It is always our Luo people who come up with these names.
Anyways, once I get to work, settle in and start the madness of the day which is always filled with dealing with customers rants, issues and complains. Nothing comes good with customer service, its always something bad even though you get satisfaction from helping them. After all that hullabaloo, you start the journey back home through these crazy streets. Get home, shower then catch up on some series as I eat dinner, get to bed by 9 pm. Yes, I sleep that early. Then again the following day, repeat the whole procedure and the day after that, and the day after that before you know it its July and nothing interesting has been happening for you for those 6 months.
Also, am I the only one missing their parents? I still live in my parents house and due to the lock down, they were locked away in ocha since I don't know sijui when. At first it was fun, cause I had all the space to myself. No stress, no nagging of do this do that blabla. I still love the space but yoh, I never knew I could miss my folks this bad! Especially my mum. I would come home from work and give her all the tea of how my day went down while she made the best dinner yet. Now I just come back to an echo of a house with just me and my thoughts. I think I have an idea of how my life would be when I move out. This pandemic has made me realize I love being on my own, like everyday I look forward to just getting home and chill. I also love being around people but not too much. I be learning new things about myself during this time.
Lets not forget how being single during this time has been an extreme sport. Listen, I get it. Embrace the season, enjoy it but personally for me it has been hard. I cant be the only one. Just have someone to talk to, tell bad jokes to and annoy the shit out of them. Netflix and chill manenoz, you know? I crave that. All that. Like if one day I just woke up and God dropped this man in front of me, I would be so grateful! I know being single should be a good thing but during a pandemic? Girl please. I did try the quarantine bae thing (Quarantine "Bae") but that felt so random and I like taking my time.
Lastly, everything right now seems so unmotivating, you know? Like there isn't much to tickle your fancy or make you feel rejuvenated and stuff or its just me? I don't know. So I really hope you all are okay mentally. I hope you taking care of your mental health. I hope that you have someone or people to talk to. The type of people that when they ask you how you doing, you can be so honest with them. This year has been rough for most of us, and its pretty obvious our mental health is suffering the most. I have had my moments. The best I do for myself is music, cleaning and praying. That works for me. I hope you have something that works for you as well. Also, check up on your people and find out how they coping. Call that friend or sibling and have a conversation about everything.
Before I leave, I just want to tell you it gets better. Soon all this will pass and we will one day remember these days. Until then, keep safe, social distance, wear your masks, sanitize and WASH YOUR HANDS!
Cheers!
xx
Pic courtesy of https://sumonsleeve.com/2017/10/to-rbf-or-not.html
Its been a great learning sason,
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